


Mess Me Up

by seasalttoffee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Cause I Am Stupid, Crying, Dreams Make Brain Go Brrrr, Dreamscapes, George is bad at emotions, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Whipped Dream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:53:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27613061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasalttoffee/pseuds/seasalttoffee
Summary: Dream knew he was a goner as soon he had heard George laugh the first time, a sickly sweet melody that he wished he could hold close, and bury in his heart. Keep it trapped forever within the crevasses of his conscious.I rebranded this story!! I found a different song (Mess Me Up - Neon Trees) that fits Much better! this is still Yellow! Just a different name!
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 205





	1. constellations

His laugh had lit up stars in Dream's chest, crowding his lungs, as vibrant shades of blue and green washed over him. Sharp, and happy, it felt infectious, lighting up Dream's dark room with it's excitement, glowing like the moon. Dream had laughed along too, pushing down the contagious feeling of fuzziness that flooded his system, doing his best to prevent the warmth in his stomach currently threatening to bubble over and swallow him whole.

His head thumped back against his gaming chair, the faux leather letting out a soft hiss at the weight of his head. He took in deep breaths, quietly sucking in gulp fulls of air to calm down the shallow beating of his heart.

_Breathe. You're okay._

He remembered the first time George had laughed without restraint in front of him, this boisterously calming little giggle snort. It had felt like the universe was collapsing, leaving him floating in the empty space as he desperately looked for an anchor. Patches was what had pulled him back to reality, digging her way into his thoughts with the persistent meowing as she rubbed against his leg.

His hands gently touched his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before checking the time and frowning as the blocky blue letters flickered from 2:30 AM to 2:31 AM. He'd stay for another half hour. "I'm going to hop off now. I'll stay in the voicechat, but I'm going to quit playing." He smiled gently at his friend's agreeable noises, letting his eyes slip shut as he listened to the sound of his computer fan whirring.

Dream hummed gently, eyes fluttering open. Palm trees swayed gently as a warm breeze washed over his face. He took a deep breath, smelling salt as he sat along the shore of the open ocean, staring out into the crashing waves. Flurries of red, yellow, and pink moved through the sky, tangling together to create a concoction of distinctly different swirls. The crunch of sand broke him out of the comforting trance, shoulders raising in discomfort.

"This place is gorgeous." The body that had walked through the sand was sitting now, settling their back against him as their head nuzzled into his shoulder. "Thank you." The voice wiggled it's way into his brain, digging a hole to sit there. "It isn't as gorgeous as me though." He muttered, head setting itself against the top of the figure's, hair tickling his cheek. The figure laughed, loud and confident, setting his skin on fire with goosebumps. His lungs squeezed, threatening to pop like an overfilled balloon.

Green eyes snapped to the figure beside him, body scrambling backwards. "Dream, it's just me. You need to calm down." A hand reached out, placing itself on his cheek as it's thumb gently stroked his cheek, dragging him back to the serenity before him. "You're okay." The words tore at his chest, worming it's way under his skin and settling there calmly, stirring the tornado in his brain, thoughts throwing themselves around wildly. 

_He's so gorgeous._

"I'd do anything for you, George." The figure laughed again, bright and shiny just like always, sounding like nostalgia, childlike and carefree. He was pulled out of the moment by a voice, off in the distance, muffled by the sleep riddled portions of his brain. It was persistent, dragging him away from the vivid colors, and sea shell soft moment, pulling him back into reality. "Dream..? Are you awake? It's okay if you aren't! Sapnap left call to sleep not to long ago, and the stream ended just a few minutes after he had left."

He let out a grumble, voice sticky with sleep, words slurring together as he murmured haphazardly. "I'm awake. I'm here. Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He glanced over at the blocky numbers, the palms of his hands pressing into his eye sockets, colors blooming in random intervals behind them. "Fuck, it's 4:00 AM?" His voice cracked slightly, dipping an octave lower before shooting back to his normal range. George let out that little snort laugh, fireworks lighting up behind Dream's eyes as a dazed smile split his face. 

"I love your laugh."

His voice was filled with admiration, dripping with content and screaming affection. Words tumbled out of his throat, clawing their way up and out before he could stop them. "It makes me feel like I'm going to sink." The call was silent, George clearly unmuted. "George?" He pulled his hands away from his eyes. "George? I'm sorry, did I overstep? I didn't mean to." The call ended, Discord letting out that dreadful noise to signify that George had actually left him alone.

_Maybe he got disconnected..?_

Dream grabbed his phone, color draining from his face as he texted his friend. _**hey i'm sorry or overstepping, i wont do it again.**_ George read it, almost immediately after the blond had sent it. The butterflies from his stomach morphed into moths, eating him from the inside out as fear consumed him.

_I messed it all up. He hates me, doesn't he._

His phone dinged, a notification from George lighting up his homescreen. _**sorry about that! my internet went down and i'm currently using data.**_ His shoulders dropped, a breath he had no clue he was holding pushed itself past his lips. _**go to bed dream, i'll text you in the morning! promise.**_

He got up from his seat, leaning down to turn off his pc before tilting his head to the left and wincing at the chain of clicks his neck let out. Patches was already curled up by the end of his bed, blankets dipping where she was sleeping. He crawled underneath his blankets, body letting out an involuntary shudder because of his cold sheets.

_Everything is fine. I didn't mess things up with George. He still cares for me._

The last thing he remembers before drifting off to sleep was George's laughter, fizzy and sweet like cherry cola on a hot summer's day, making him feel refreshed and rejuvenated. He fell asleep feeling calm, the stars in his chest wandering their way into his mind as pleasant thoughts of laughter, and childhood overtook him.


	2. gooey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Processing emotions can be particularly hard when you're surround by the person that causes your brain to blue screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please please keep this away from george and dream! and if you have any advice, i'd love to hear it!

Dream woke up the next day to Patches sitting on his face, furry stomach pressed directly against his face. A maximum of thirty seconds was all his brain really needed to process that his body was incredibly warm, and that he needed to sneeze. Gently pushing the cat off of his face, Dream rubbed a hand over his face begrudgingly, wiping away excess hair. "Patches, you really need to stop waking me up like that."

He picked up the fuzzy creature, smiling as her chest emitted a low rumble, clearly content with the physical touch. Rays of sunlight made it's way through his window, lighting up his room in a soft pastel glow. He stretched, arms raising to the roof as his back let out a satisfyingly loud crack. Patches sat in front of his feet, meowing persistently.

"Aw, is my girl hungry? Let's get you some food. If you're lucky, I'll share mine." He always did anyways, slipping the cat a small piece of whatever it is that he had made for the morning, watching her with a parental form of admiration.

Dream let out a gentle puff of breath, opening his door before stepping out into the hallway, making his way to the kitchen.

The blond man opened the fridge, pulling out milk and eggs. He opened the drawer beside the fridge, grabbing hold of a pan before turning his attention to the freezer and grabbing packaged bacon. He set the items down on the counter beside the milk, grabbing a bowl from across the kitchen before turning back towards the random assortment of food stuffs on the counter. He grabbed a whisk, cracking three eggs into the bowl, humming noncommittally as he did.

Soft lyrics spilled out of his lips as he grabbed the milk, opening the lid before pouring around two spoonfuls of the liquid into the dish. "Hey baby won't you look my way, I can be your new addiction....." He whisked the items into a patchy yellow liquid, putting the pan on a large burner before turning up the heat.

"Hey baby, whatcha gotta say, all you're giving me is fiction.." Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, pouring the yellow mixture into the pan and watching it sizzle. "I'm a sorry sucker and it happens all the time. I find out that everybody talks." He gently placed the bowl in the sink, tossing the whisk in afterwards. "Everybody talks. Everybody talks."

His face cracked, a grin splitting his face. A hand reached out, grabbing a spatula and holding it to his mouth, mimicking a microphone as his voice broke through the silence that filled his house, bouncing off the walls. "It started with a whisper! And that was when I kissed her! Then she made my lips hurt!" His head swayed, voice loud and brilliantly excited. 

Blond hair bobbed to the imaginary beat that filled his head, music filling his brain and filtering out of his mouth. His excitement cut itself short, the small of sizzling making it's way to his nose, bitter and littered with the sent of fire.

_Shit._

He quickly turned to face his currently burning eggs, an unhappy noise leaving his throat as he quickly pulled the pan off of the stove. Patches meowed in annoyance. Green eyes flickered to the cat, grin dropping into a curt smile. "I know how you feel. I'll give you some of the milk from the cereal I'm going to end up having." Dream grabbed his phone, quickly snapping a photo of the burnt food. He chuckled bitterly, running a hand through his hair as he scrapped the blackened eggs into the garbage.

 _ **i burnt my food**_. The man messaged the snapchat group he was in, watching as the image was suddenly flooded with teasing words, making fun of his inability to cook. He snorted softly, grabbing cereal after giving Patches a scoop of cat food. 

Dream walked back into his room, crunching down on the sugary Froot Loop rings and sitting down in his gaming chair. He opened YouTube, clicking on a video by George and hesitating slightly as the brunet's voice filled his ears, airy and soft. Like bubbles, shimmering with eloquently beautiful shades of pink and purple. He inhaled sharply, teeth digging into his bottom lip. His face flushed, glowing as he listened to George's words, sticking against the crevices of his subconscious.

_I can't take this._

The mouse on his screen shot up to the X in the corner of his browser, shutting the tabs he had opened down. Hands reached up to touch his face, placed on his cheeks as flickers of brown eyes and soft lips marched their way through his conscious thoughts. Pin pricks of heat littered his skin, filling his heart with molten emotion.

_Why him? Why him of all people? It couldn't have been anyone else?_

His phone dinged, a snapchat notification lighting up his screen. Nervous eyes jumped to the source of the noise, blinking a couple of times. 

_Sapnap. It's only Sapnap. Don't worry. Calm down._

Dream slid his finger across the screen, willing the rich blush on his cheeks to simmer. **_you better have slept well, because i am forcing you to participate in my stream tonight._** His breath stuttered, sharp swords of panic slicing at his lungs. He swallowed down the gooey feeling that consumed his chest, consuming his heart. **_will george be there?_**

The response he had gotten was immediate, a choked off laugh scratching it's way past the all consuming anxiousness as his brain processed the sarcasm attached with the statement. _**am i not enough for you? my heart! but yes, of course he's going to be there, i'm not stupid.\**_

Dream's heart stilled, steam working it's way through his head as his brain overworked itself, smoking up the inside of his head. HIs brain stuttered, fingers deftly working over his keyboard as he typed and retyped message after message. _**i doubt that, u seem pretty stupid sometimes. yeah, i'll be there. just for you, simpnap.**_ He hit send before he could stop himself, a tense sigh pushing it's way through the thick fog that had filled his lungs.

_I can't handle hearing his laugh again._


	3. waterfalls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream spills the confusing emotions he has, forgetting the person he yearns for can probably hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so to all the new and old readers, thanks for joining! this chapter might be a little shorter cause...yknow i am burning myself out with irl stuff and this, i am very sorry! but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

_4:00 pm . 30 minutes until the stream is over. You can do this. Just a little bit longer._

Dream chewed on the inside of his cheek, wincing as a twinge of copper landed on his tongue, the inside of his mouth aching from the small tear he had created. Green eyes drifted to the corkboard wall he had, littered with sticky notes scrawled with finished reminders and old polaroid photos of him and his siblings.

A sharp bark of laughter cut through his headset, loud and upbeat. His heartrate picked up, eyes snapping back to his monitor. "Who killed me? Which one of you killed me." 

He pressed the respawn button, mouse clicking mockingly, before tapping the letter t on his keyboard, pulling up chat and gasping dramatically. "Sapnap!" The accused man snickered, MineCraft character gleefully crouching in the middle of his screen. "Give me my stuff back, pandas."

Dream chuckled softly, pressing the left mouse button and watching as Sapnap's character turned red. "Dream! Don't be so rude." He rolled his eyes, humming softly. "Give me my stuff back before I hit you again." In an instant, his stuff was dropped on the ground, Sapnap's character sprinting a few blocks away. "Great." The blond picked up his stuff quickly. "Where's George?"

_You idiot. He's already in your head more then he needs to be._

"I dunno. He probably fell asleep getting a glass of water or something. For all we know, his house is flooded." He let out a quiet breath, relief flooding through his system. "Why?"

The air to his lungs stopped, freezing in place. "What do you mean why?" He cleared his throat, feeling his face flush a light pink. "I mean why, dude. You're acting like a weirdo." His teeth grinded together, gritting against eachother harshly as the cogs in his brain processed the words Sapnap was saying. "I'll message you about it after the stream."

"If it's that important, sure. Chat, it's getting late here, sorry to end stream a little bit early, but George is who knows where, and Dream is all introverted today so....thanks for coming out!" He let out an indignat sound, eyes narrowing at his screen as he tabbed out of MineCraft, opening Twitch and rubbing his temples as a disbelieving laugh punched past his lips. 

"What the hell, Nick. Are you serious? I was fine to stream for at least another hour or so." His headsat crackled slightly, hearing the other male shift in his gaming seat. "Yeah obviously not. Spill. You've been weird day."

Frustrated tears pricked his eyes, an annoyed grown drifting out of his mouth. "Really? Are you kidding me?" His lips twitched downwards, an irked frown settling on his face. "We're doing this? RIght now?" An affirmative noise buzzed through his ears, the blond letting out a miffed groan as he leaned back in his gaming chair.

His shirt scrunched up slightly, back exposed to the room temperature air of his bedroom. "Fine. Fine." His head rolled to the side, leaning against the head panel his chair had. "His laugh makes me feel like I'm drowning, okay? Everything he does feels like to much."

The blond man's face burned, an embarrassed blush covering his cheeks as goosebumps broke out over his skin. "He feels like the color red. Ironic cause he can't see it, but the point still stands." The call sat stagnantly, shame blooming in Dream's chest as he waited patiently for Sapnap's response. 

A quiet click of the tongue was all it took for Dream's nerves to skyrocket, plummeting into the stratosphere at an alarming rate. "I knew you loved him but I didn't think it was this bad." His throat clogged, filling itself with words as he tried to explain himself, stumbling over his words as Sapnap progressively tumbled into louder laughter. "Chill. You honestly thought no one knew? Dude, no way. There is no way you are that stupid." 

He squawked, face lighting up in flames. "Sapnap! Oh my god, shut up!" 

"Aw, Dreamy boy's got a crush! Little lovesick Clay, probably as red as a tomato by now."

His hands flew to his face, covering his features as Sapnap continued to laugh, teasing chuckles escaping from his lips. He groaned, throwing his head back against his gaming chair hard enough for the piece of furniture to let out a quiet whine from the sudden weight shift. "I am not!"

"Dream's got a crush?"

Dream's heart capsized, sinking past his lungs as the frustrated tears from earlier spilled, dripping down his face at an agonizing pace. "George! We ended the stream cause chat was getting impatient."

_He heard. He knows. He knows he makes me feel like I'm suffocating._

His hands dropped from his face, trembling as he shut his monitor down, listening as the two voices faded out into nothingness, leaving him in a chilling emptiness. "Shit."

His phone dinged, notifications lighting up the screen in a flurry of white. He reached over, turning the device on silent before getting up and dropping onto his bed. Sobs wracked his body, heart thumping against his ribcage as he sucked in sharp breaths.

_What is wrong with me._

Tears slipped down his cheeks, eyelashes clumping together as his body curled in on itself. A soft meow echoed throughout the room, Patches curling up beside the blond as he hiccupped, drifting into dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will repeat what i said last time, please do not post about this fic, the attention heat waves got caused it to shut down and i am really enjoying writing this, please don't share this with sapnap, george, or dream either, i'd really like to continue wrting this to completion.  
> last but now least, if this ends up violating any of the boundaries of any of the content creators mentioned, i will be taking it down


	4. dreamland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's hard to tell if what's happening is a dream or a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for showing so much support!!! it's really appreciated and i'm glad all of you are enjoying reading this as much as i am writing it!!
> 
> also i'm sorry this chapter is a little bit shorter, my classes have kept me super busy

Water crashed against his calves, pulling the soft sand currently laying atop his feet away. The sky dripped into soft golds, melting into the water and reflecting brightly. Green eyes stared at the shiny waves, lungs taking in a shaky breath.

Arms wrapped around his waist, a chin resting on his shoulder. "You can't wallow in your own self doubt forever, you know." He scoffed, prying the hands off of his waist and turning to look in the direction of the voice.

Green eyes looked down at brown, a dim smile flickering onto his features. "I'm not wallowing. I'm...reminiscing." The corners of brown eyes, shimmering like copper, crinkled, a delicate smile working it's way to the voice's face.

"Clay, do you think I don't love you back?" The words shot through his heart, searing themselves right in the core of his being. "George, you can't just say stuff like that."

A laugh escaped the brunet infront of him, disbelief evident on his face as his eyes rolled. Small hands reached up, cupping his cheeks. "And why is that? Are you embarrassed? You want me to love you, and you know it."

His eyebrows furrowed, blinking hazily at the shorter man as he leaned into the touch. His brain stuttered, words hesitating to come out. "Love is a strong word."

"Is it the right word?"

Freckled cheeks flushed lightly, nerves cause his shoulders to go taught, body tensing. "Does it matter?" The waves continued crashing against his legs, causing goosebumps to break out on his skin, making his skin tingle with contained desire.

The hands on his cheeks travelled down, sliding down his neck before settling there, cold fingers forcing away the warmth travelling up and down his spine. Dream sucking in a breath, chest expanding. A breath pressed through his teeth, holding back a shudder at the cold on his neck. "I think it matters a lot. It determines whether or not I continue to touch you."

Dream's eyes fluttered shut, head dropped down a couple of inches to set against George's shoulder. "Don't stop please." His breath fanned against George's shoulder, tears dripping onto the blue shirt the other man. "Please."

The hands slowly pulled from his next, lips pressing against the top of his head. The gentle gesture made his shoulders sink, body seeping with insecurity. 

_He's telling me he'll stay._

The thought drifted through his brain, bouncing off the insides of his skull. It echoed around, warm and fuzzy. Shocks drifted down his nerves, making his hands twitch nervously as they slowly wrapped themselves around George's waist without permission.

His breathing slowed, nuzzling his head into the juncture the met between George's neck and shoulder. His lips pressed against the other man's pulse point, swallowing as he felt his heartbeat. "You seem more nervous then me." 

The words sounded punched out, dripping with uncontained want. 

"Don't lie to yourself. I can feel your heart against my chest." A soft giggle escaped George's lips.

_I'm losing myself._

The waves hit the back of his body, dragging the two of them deeper as soft affectionate touches pushed the two of them closer.

"I love you."

With a gasp, Dream sat up, a loud groan rumbling out from his chest as shame struck him. "Fuck." His body relaxed again, dropping back onto his bed. He threw his arm over his face, digging his nose into the crook of his elbow. "I'm going to die. I can't do this."

The bed dipped, a brown lump pressing itself to his chest. Nerves melted way. "What do you think, Patches? Am i going crazy?" A soft meow escaped the cat beside him, big eyes staring at him. "I wish you could talk. You would be the wisest cat ever."

Sticky sweet affection bubbled to the forefront of his brain, a content smile making its way to his face. H reached out, gently rubbing the soft fur of the cat infront of him.

Patches purred gently, eyes closing as she fell asleep pressed against his chest. He glanced at his alarm clock, an unhappy noise echoing in the silence of his room.

_2:00 am. Really?_

Annoyance filled his system, a miffed expression making his forehead crease slightly. He grabbed his phone, wincing at the amount of missed messages he had gotten. He pressed his thumb to the home button, watching his lockscreen fade away.

Pressing the message app and taking a breath to steady himself. He pressed down on Sapnap's contact.

**_hey are you okay?_ **

**_dream?_ **

**_clay?_ **

**_clay, answer me dude, i'm worried_ **

**_i'm sorry, i forgot george is still in call_ **

**_he doesn't know i promise_ **

**_if he did, he didn't say anything and he for sure was not weirded out!_ **

Guilt slapped against his ribs, making his heart feel heavy.,

_**sorry, nick.** _

_**didn't mean to make you worry.** _

_**i'm okay, i just ended up passing out, my sleeping schedule is fucked.** _

He exited the conversation, dread worming it's way into his lungs, filling them up with quick dry concrete as he opened the messages he had from George. 

**_Dream, are you okay?_ **

**_You left call really suddenly..._ **

**_Dream?_ **

**_You can talk to me, you know._ **

**_We're friends for a reason._ **

**_Dream..?_ **

**_Do you really not want to talk to me that badly?_ **

**_Are you ignoring me?  
_ **

He scrolled through them, a tense sigh working it's way out if his system. _It's now or never._

**_i had a dream about you._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will repeat what i said last time, please do not post about this fic, the attention heat waves got caused it to shut down and i am really enjoying writing this, please don't share this with sapnap, george, or dream either, i'd really like to continue wrting this to completion.  
> last but now least, if this ends up violating any of the boundaries of any of the content creators mentioned, i will be taking it down


	5. ice cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talk happens. It doesn't go the way Dream wished it had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's back baby! :D I'm sorry if the sudden rebrand confused anyone! This song just fit a little bit better! thank you for all the support! this is a dialogue heavy chapter! i am so sorry

**_You had a dream about me..?_ **

His heart hammered, thumping against his ribs in uneven intervals. A stuttered breath punched it's way out of his lungs, crowding his throat as he tried to keep himself calm. Nervous fingers typed over the keyboard quickly.

~~**_yeah, it was about how i loved you_ ** ~~

He pressed the backspace button, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip anxiously as his brain fluttered through thousands of outcomes for this situation.

~~**_i got to hold you in it_ ** ~~

An annoyed groan escaped his lips, his mind screaming at him as he cursed lightly. "Fuck."

**_i am 99% sure that i am desperately in love with you and i want to hold you and kiss you and just be with you because you make me feel like i'm floating and im going insane._ **

Thumb hovering over the backspace button yet again, Dream stared at the words on the screen until the screen went black, fizzling out and leaving him in emptiness, before an unhappy noise pushed itself out of his chest. Hands roughly shook the phone in anger, a frown making it's way to his face as he collapsed back in bed, thawing an arm over his eyes.. "I can't do this. I can't do this. This is-..."

_To much. This is to much._

The electronic in his hands buzzed again, the blond eagerly swiping open the text.

**_Clay. Talk to me._ **

His heart stopped, thousands of layers of ice covering up the organ in a vein attempt to cover his anxiety with numbness. 

_What does he mean "talk to me". We are talking. Talk about what? I didn't say anything out of the ordinary._

His message sat unsent, thumb hurrying to pressing the backspace button. The words disappeared in front of his eyes, leaving his text box open.

_**we are talking?** _

_**You know what I mean.** _

**HIs** _**there a reason you've been distant?** _

_**i haven't been distant** _

_**Don't lie to me please, we both know you have.** _

_**i'm sorry** _

_**I just need to know if i did something wrong.** _

_**Did I make you uncomfortable?** _

_**You can talk to me you know.** _

_**i know** _

_**you didn't make me upset or anything** _

_**don't worry about me** _

_**i've just been in a little bit of a rough place.** _

He scoffed, rolling his eyes heavily.

_Yeah. Sure. Rough. You're in love with your bestfriend and it has taken you close to four years to figure it out. Shut the fuck up._

**_I'm here for you, I hope you know this._ **

**_i know_ **

**_i promise_ **

**_you don't have to tell me, god i know_ **

**_you're always there_ **

His heart picked up again, butterflies fluttering around in his stomach, tickling his insides lightly, making him feel airy.

**_There you go acting weird again._ **

**_i'm not acting weird_ **

**_Yes you are._ **

**_no i'm not, george_ **

**_i'm just stating what i'm thinking_ **

**_Then stop thinking weird._ **

A tiny smile graced his face, nerves making goosebumps pop up on his skin. 

_This almost feels normal._

He watched the typing bubble, awaiting George's message with a renewed sense of serenity, peace gently making it's way around his veins.

**_Okay but...How do I put this gently_ **

**_Look, Clay, if you're that nervous about spending time with me for whatever reason, I'll give you some space._ **

**_Message me when you're ready to talk okay..?_ **

**_I care for you a lot._ **

_Space? No. No. I don't want space. I want you. Come back. Please don't leave me._

The butterfly wings started to flap harder, dragging across his insides as their razor sharp wings dug into his stomach. His heart shrank, a rush of emotions surging through his veins and into his lungs, blocking his airway and making him choke slightly.

Water dripped down his cheeks, slipping down freckled skin and onto the illuminating light of his phone, warping the imagery slightly.

_I'm inside, how is it raining?_

His hand reached up, gently touching his cheek.

_Oh, I'm crying._

An unhappy murmur filled his brain, crescendoing into a scream, echoing off the sides of his head, causing his eyes to burn with fresh tears, eyelashes clumping together as his lungs squeezed.

Dream haphazardly exited George's contact, opening Nick's before pressing call. Panic ebbed at his ribs, chipping at the bone and cause them to crack.

_Pick up, pick up. Come on Nick._

The ringtone slowed, dropping into emptiness. A groggy voice interrupted the anxious thoughts. "Clay, dude what's up?"

"Nick." He gasped out wetly, hand pressing against his chest, feeling the rapid movements of his heart. "It hurts. Nick, it hurts."

He could practically hear the other man process the information, brain clicking into protective mode. "Deep breaths, deep breaths. Mimic my breathing." The call crackled slightly, picking up exaggerated noises of his friend breathing. "In and out. In and out." 

His ears rang, heart aching. "I fucked it up."

The hum he got in return settled his nerves slightly. "I doubt it. Just focus on steadying your breathing right now, okay? You're okay. You'll be okay. Breathe."

Air flooded his lungs, making the organs quiver with the strain. "It hurts."

"It will. That doesn't mean you won't be okay."

Patches curled against his side, meowing to get his attention. A shaky smily pressed it's way against his face. 

_At least I have Nick and Patches._

Punched out laughter filled the call, bitter and soaked in sadness. "Good to know your breathing is stable enough to laugh." The snort that escaped him was soft, weak.

"Clay, I know you probably just woke up or whatever, but I really think you should go have a nap. You need it."

His heart burned, longing for beautiful brown eyes, sweet like maple. "I know. Please stay."

Black spots filled his vision, his head hitting the pillow. He was out in a matter of seconds.

The tear stained cheeks, and dry throat would be a problem for when he woke up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> same thing as last time  
> don't share this fic around, dont repost unless you ask for my permission, don't show this to the ccs, have fun reading!


	6. hollow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about how much you miss someone stings when they go out of their way to avoid you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise shawty!!!! :D hihi writing time huh? really hope you enjoy this and im so sorry for taking to long to update! i promise i will try harder >:D  
> so dream's new song huh?  
> also re-reading this made me grimace cause of how often i made him cry so!!!!! uh none of that for a little bit :D  
> i really am terribly sorry for the wait ):

Thunder banged through the usually clear sky, beating rain beating down against his freezing body. Shivers wracked his body, sending his muscles into a frenzy. 

Warm hands pulled away from his skin, leaving a scorch mark trail in their wake. "You said you wouldn't leave."

Waves crashed against the sand, heavy and hurt, pushing away at the yellowish mineral. "I never said anything."

"Don't act stupid, George. You told me you would stay." His voice was rough, dripping with pent up frustration. His body was soaked, drenched with freezing water.

The sky lit up, a flash of white shooting across the dark grey clouds. A deep rumble echoed through the air.

Green eyes met brown, a tense sort of ferocity sparking through the air. "I told you what you wanted to hear." A sharp stab of anger shot through his veins, skin prickling against the cold.

Venom soaked into his pores, fueling his frustration. 

The thunder banged again, hands landing on the brunet man's chest. With all of his might, he shoved, watching as George collapsed onto the sand.

A pang of bitter satisfaction sparked through his body.

Air pushed past his lips, forcing it's way out of his lungs as Dream blinked his eyes open.

The first thing he did upon waking up was end the call he had with Sapnap, sending a quick text to apologize for the abruptness, and the hassle, a short lived guilt causing butterflies to fill up his stomach, nausea making him dizzy.

_Shouldn't have to call him every night to feel safe._

Sitting up felt like the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, an atmosphere of discomfort and pain. Something normal people would cringe at, their noses crinkling in disgust.

An empty sort of numbness settled in his chest, burying itself underneath muscle, and worming it's way through his ribcage. It pressed against his lungs, cutting his breathing off. 

Shallow breaths exited his throat, clawing their way up his dry throat, leaving scars and scratches in their wake. 

The second thing he did upon waking up was forcing himself to get out of bed, stomach twisting with unease. The movement caused Patches to stir, a soft noise escaping the feline as her owner carefully stood up.

Rubbing away the sandpaper on his face, and in his eyes, felt euphoric, washing away the tear soaked loneliness.

Muscles strained as he stretched, shaking underneath the pressure. A yawn pressed past his lips, exhaustion hitting his system.

_I already slept for at least twelve hours._

Something cold shot through his veins, the familiar arms of angst wrapping around his core, squeezing tight as he rabidly blinked away the stinging behind his eyes.

Dream sighed, nearly wincing at the crying induced roughness lining the inside of his throat. Patches hopped off the bed, tail swishing as she pawed at the door to the hallway.

_Four days._

Forcing his body to move, the blond swallowed, grabbing the handle to the door, and opening it. 

_Four days without him and I haven't smiled once._

His face produced a scowl, stomach grumbling as he walked into the washroom, turning on the water to the shower, making sure there was steam.

Stripping out of his clothes, Dream stepped under the steady spray, twitching. "Too hot." He murmured, voice cracking. 

The blond let himself stand under the scalding water, indulging in the lose of time as his thoughts scattered.

_Kind of pathetic that I'm so caught up on him, isn't it?_

His hands ran over his face, rubbing at the hot skin, trying to keep his mind clear.

_This is what you get for crying so much, idiot._

His lungs burned, steam filling every crevice inside of them.

_Why am I so mad at him? Does I get a say in how long this stupid fucking break will be?_

Dream huffed gently, feeling his eyebrows crease in annoyance, cheek twitching as his face tried to morph into a snarl.

_This is so stupid._

The water pounded against his back. Sucking in a deep breath of air, the blond blinked a few times, letting out a large sigh.

He turned off the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist before walking over to the sink, grabbing his toothbrush.

Putting some toothpaste on the toothbrush, he scrubbed at his teeth until his mouth was full of foam, staring at himself in the mirror.

A small chuckle wormed it's way out of his chest, the sound nothing but a soft rumble. 

_I look rabid._

He grabbed his mouthwash, pouring out a set amount of the minty liquid into the cap before dumping the contents into his mouth, swishing it around before spitting it out.

_Is this self care? I don't really think it is, but it's nice to be able to do it after crying. That never feels nice._

His stomach rumbled, a grimace settling on his face.

_Later. Gotta finish editing that video._

His phone dinged from his room.

_Probably Sapnap checking in again. I really don't deserve that dweeb._

Walking back to his bedroom, he lazily dragged his hand along the hallway wall, catching on the doorframe before he stepped into the familiar room. His phone buzzed again, the sound for his texts bouncing off the walls.

Dream picked up his phone, not bothering to look at the text notification as he unlocked the device, checking his twitter notifications, and discord messages before opening up his messaging app.

_**Hey. I'm really sorry. I don't particularly know what's going on with you, but pushing you away and making you deal with whatever it is wasn't a good idea on my part. People are really worried about you. I'm really worried about you. Please answer.** _ ****

_**Clay, I know I messed up. I'm sorry. Please talk to me.** _

He let himself indulge in a scoff, eyes rolling. 

_Yeah. Sure. Thanks Georgie, but not a good time. I was just getting over you._

The phone lit up, George's contact filling up his screen as his ringtone played.

_Shit._

His thumb hovered over the decline button, teeth worrying his bottom lip before his heart squeezed, terrifyingly eager to hear the brit's voice again.

He clicked answer.

"Dream!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so so much for reading! really it means the word! don't hesitate to leave feedback! hell knows i need it after taking so long to write again!


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